My 2015 Thanksgiving List

Last week I talked about the spiritual discipline of learning to thank God on a regular basis. Thanks-giving to God on a regular basis gives us another portal to maintain our spiritual wholeness--to maintain our joy, peace and faith (confidence) in Him. I believe that if you want to experience joy, peace and faith regularly and at a deeper level in life, add to your daily routine the act of simply walking in ongoing thankfulness. Demonstrating to God often that we are thankful for what we have, rather than what we don't have or maybe have lost, can be the difference in recognizing and experiencing all the blessings He has for us or not.

I also challenged my readers to jot down at least 15 things in their life they were thankful for, regardless of how big or small. I completed the exercise as well and thought I would share with you the things I have been praying through recently:

Personally, I am thankful for:

• My family and friends who make my life so rich with joy
• My wife who continues to demonstrate her love for me in innumerable acts of kindness and care
• My mother who is still going strong and finds time to shell and freeze peas for my family to enjoy throughout the year
• My co-workers who know how to share food and a laugh even when the work schedule is so hectic and overbearing
• The God-given wisdom of the human soul that knows, deep down, that God is, and that He is good
• The eternal and unchanging promises of God--that I am His and He is mine, now and forever
• That there is a sure day coming when I will know Him fully, just as I have been known, and I will see Him face to face

For my children at Buckhorn, I am thankful and hopeful:

• That on restless nights when they cannot sleep, they know that they are not abandoned or forgotten by the One who created them, who loves them perfectly and knows them perfectly
• That they know the stars shining across the night sky is a gift from God, sent to remind them of the vastness of the universe
• That when they don't know how to pray, God's Spirit intercedes for them with groaning too deep for words
• That they realize it is not their job to fix their parents/guardians or peers
• That they learn that life is short and long, sweet and difficult, all at the same time
• That they learn that we are not meant to understand everything
• That they learn that their past cannot define who they are or define their future unless they allow it
• That they are surrounded by selfless, committed and compassionate staff

The Discipline of Thanks

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching—the time we are supposed to express our thankfulness to God. The Scriptures remind us often of this truth: Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (I Thessalonians 5:18) and I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds (Psalms 9:1).

I wonder how many of us have thought about “why” we should be thankful to God? I’m not sure many of us have. I have a Facebook and Twitter account. I have many friends, colleagues and family with whom I stay in contact and follow through these social media feeds. All of us post pictures, share videos, rant and rave over the latest news or political issues, share recipes and invite people to events. Unfortunately, some use it to bully others, air their personal laundry, debate issues and call people out for their beliefs and/or political views. What I find missing in most of the social media feeds, including mine, is thankfulness, compassion and respect for others no matter how different or unique they may be.

For the last 18 months, I have been President/CEO of Buckhorn Children & Family Services. During this time, I have learned a lot about being thankful and depending on God’s care and provision. Hidden deep in the Appalachia Mountains is an invisible city of children and youth; the children and youth who reside with us do so because of severe abuse and neglect in their lives. Because of our geographical location, the only way for our ministry to be known is for us to be the voice and face of these whom we serve so that we can find additional resources to meet the needs of our children.

My staff and I have spent many a night praying for God’s provision, knowing that when the sun broke over the eastern sky the next morning, bills would be due and the bank account would be empty. Nevertheless, we held steadfast in our prayers, thanked Him for a century of service to children, and asked for one more blessing so we could serve another day. Each time, we would wake to find God’s provision and blessing!

I’ve been a follower of Christ for 42 years and in fulltime ministry for 24 of those years. As I look through these years, I realize that expressing my thanks to our Heavenly Father may be as powerful as any other discipline of the Christian life. Being thankful compels me to fix my eyes on God rather than on myself. It humbles me. It lifts my mind off of my troubles and anxieties and reminds me that God will always provide for my needs, and that for those who love God all thing work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

As you approach Thanksgiving, spend time listing God’s blessings in your life. Don’t stop until you’ve identified at least 10-15 blessings. This exercise will force you to think creatively about God’s care and provision—even in the small things.

Let's Talk

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been silent. I remained silent as I mourned the deaths of the nine precious individuals of Charleston. I silently grieved with the faith community of Emanuel AME Church and the people of my home state, South Carolina. I prayed in silence for the perpetrator, his soul and for his family. All of these are my people. I am a part of them and they of me. I grieved, prayed and reflected silently.

In the days that followed, I became prideful once again of the great state of SC as they prayed, hugged, worshipped, held vigils, forgave and even marched in the spirit of unity and love. The nation and world could most assuredly learn from these images and news stories.

Today, my heart aches as voices across the country shift the conversation and focus. The issues are not about a flag, gun control, people carrying guns or not, racism or the past. I am not interested in joining that conversation. That conversation is for another day. Today, in my opinion, should be about conversing and focusing on the REAL issues. I see three of them: (1) the misplaced ideology of freedom, (2) the state of morality in the U. S., and (3) the lack of focus on mental health issues. All four of them have a common thread of a spiritual void.

The ideological view of freedom in our nation has gone so far to the left that people are adopting the belief that individuals are free to do whatever, whenever and wherever. Freedom came to this nation with a huge price, but it also came to us with parameters/boundaries. I was always taught that my freedom ended where another’s began. Politicians, activists and Hollywood have been inching toward no parameters/boundaries for years, and we accept behaviors under the umbrella of “freedom acts” that trample on the rights of others. Freedom is precious. Freedom is not free. Freedom is not a right to do whatever, whenever, wherever or with whomever. Freedom doesn’t get to maximize its potential without a regard for others. Let’s go back to the basics and talk about freedom and its relationship to “do no harm.” You my brothers (and sisters) were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge in sinful behavior; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command, “Love your neighbor as yourself. (Galatians 5:13-14)

The state of morality in the U. S. has plummeted and is not much higher than the lowest cesspool. The newspapers, television, talk shows and social media are filled with stories of the fall of morality. We focus our attention more on the dramatic, negative sides, and ill-gotten gains of society rather than the good. When you focus so much on the negatives most assuredly only more negatives are to come. Just a matter of the replication theory. Focus on the positives of people in our newspapers, television talk shows and social media and good things will start to happen. So let’s talk about what we are allowing the media to feed our minds and hearts, but wait, that’s a freedom issue! Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)

Mental health is a thread that weaves through most events as witnessed in Charleston. According to Sarah Kiff of the Washington Post (12/17/2012), the mental health-care system in this nation is not big enough to handle all of the needs. She poignantly points out in her article: (1) approximately 5.6% of our healthcare budget go toward mental health care, (2) mental health dollars mostly goes toward prescription drugs and outpatient treatment, (3) access to mental health care is worse than other types of medical services, (4) 45% of the untreated individuals cite costs as a barrier, (5) negative attitudes toward mental health treatment become barriers, (6) states cut mental health dollars during the recession, and (7) the Affordable HealthCare Act is to require insurance companies to pay for certain mental health treatments. The bottom line for me is this: the mental health of our citizens should be a priority. Downplaying the mental stability and need for treatment, inpatient and outpatient, will only give rise to negative behaviors and more people becoming victimized. Want talk about mental health? The waters closed in over me to take my life; the deep surrounded me; weeds were wrapped about my head at the roots of the mountains. I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever; yet you brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God. (Jonah 2:5-6)

There will be those who read this and berate it. There will be those who read and proclaim, “This is from a simpleton.” There will be those who read and want to debate. There will be those who read and will want to intellectualize it. There will be those who will read and want to proof text the Scripture used. That’s okay.

I am a simple person. A person of simple faith. I believe in God and believe in Satan. I believe in the Spirit of Good and the Spirit of Evil. Freedom can be good and evil. Morality can be good and evil. Mental health can manifest good and evil. Good comes from God, evil from Satan. Each and every day I deal with children who challenge the bounds of freedom, push the limits of morality, suffer from mental health issues and manifest certain behaviors that teeter on the realm of evil. There is no one pill or spiritual experience that makes it all magically disappear. By treating the whole person (spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically), we have a much better chance at success and transformation.

I don’t want to converse about a flag, a gun, some type of “ism” or camp out in the past. A conversation is needed both inside and outside of the Church. I want to converse with and focus on people, individuals and groups, seeking to make a better life for one and all. Is that too much to ask?

Just one man’s mind.

(Photos from Washington Post, The Post and Courier and ABC News)

Voices from Appalachia

Just yesterday I spent some time on our Buckhorn campus with my daughter, Sarah, who is a critical care nurse at Children’s of Alabama, giving her the “fifty cents” tour and letting her meet some of “my children” whom I often talk much about and love dearly. I was awestruck once more by the many conversations, hugs, fist bumps and laughter that we encountered.

This week we have a Baptist Church from TN hosting an afterschool programming and activities on this particular campus so Sarah and I had a chance to “hang out.” While hanging out the following happened:

• “Hey boss man (one young lady affectionately calls me), I’m mad at you!” “Why?” I responded. “Because of your policies I can’t make a home visit this weekend.” “Why?” “Because I was involved in an incident that cost me my privileges.” “So your choice of actions are now my fault?” “No, it’s your policies!” “Our policies are designed to protect you, protect your peers and protect our staff. Policies are designed to help you make right choices that will promote health, healing and hope.” “I know. I just want to be mad at somebody and since you’re the boss man I thought you would be the right person! Plus I like you a lot!”
• “Hey Mr. Ricky, we are writing letters to the folk at the nursing home, and we thought we would write a letter to you!” The letter read “Don’t get old on us!” and was initialed by all the children involved. When asked why they didn’t want me to get old, they stated, “Because we like you.”
• A young lady came up to me smiled and showed me her arms. “Look Mr. Ricky, I haven’t self-harmed in 21 days. I get to go see my aunt this weekend!”
• “Hey Mr. Ricky, do you remember that time I was acting out and you came to campus just because of me?” “Yes I do.” “I guess I’m special, eh?” Yes, you are special.”

The fortunate thing about these statements is they can be multiplied many times over, not because of what I do and say, but because of the caring, loving, committed and passionate staff that work for Buckhorn Children and Family Services to provide a sanctuary of health, healing and hope. Yes, I get the joys of being with the children anytime I want to, but the fact is that our cottage staff are with our children continuously through the good and bad times. It’s the good times that make the bad times tolerable and remind us of why we do what we do.

Unfortunately, for the children in KY, things aren’t getting any better. In yesterdays’ publication of The Courier Journal, reporter Deborah Yetter, casted an article that should make us all shudder! “The number of KY children removed from homes because of abuse or neglect has reached more than 8,000—the highest in memory for child advocates who find the increase alarming. Officials cite drug abuse, domestic violence and poverty as among the reasons for the steady rise.” Not only does the article cite the rise in abuse and neglect, but it also cites that children survivors have increased needs and services more than ever before.

 

As the rates of out-of-home placements rise so does the need for foster care and residential services. The financial burden on the State increases and so does the burden for residential services. Neither the government nor private child care agencies can respond in total. It takes a nation of people to respond to the outcry of abused and neglected children.

As a person of faith, I believe it is incumbent upon the faith community to intentionally engage in personal, family and church involvement on behalf of our children. Not just for Buckhorn but for all children worldwide! So, how can you help?

• Send a personal check. One that is more than a contribution. One that is a sacrifice.
• Pray about fostering a child.
• Host a fundraiser in your home, work and/or church.
• Be an advocate for policies that address abuse and neglect.
• Personally volunteer or coordinate a mission trip to a residential facility.
• Pray, Pray, Pray.

Andrew

Andrew Ethridge had the kind of story that makes you marvel at the human spirit. Raised as the younger of two sons of a United Methodist Pastor, Andrew knew all too well the joys and pitfalls of being a PK (Preacher’s Kid) but what he did with those joys and pitfalls makes one stand in awe of him and his life.

I had the marvelous privilege of serving with his father at Oak Grove United Methodist Church as Minister of Administration and Missions. I remember fondly Andrew’s large smile, devilish shenanigans and passion for entrepreneurial business ventures. He loved games, sports, fishing, church and family. But what endeared me to him was his love for my daughter, Stephanie.

We relocated to Decatur, GA from serving in Alabama for sixteen years and uprooted Stephanie during her high school years. This proved traumatic for her but like a Creech she rose to the occasion but it was not without the help of Andrew. 

It was his smile, his ability to help integrate her into the youth ministry and joking around with his “Creechie” that made the relocation become one of her fondest memories. Because of Andrew she still has friends from this period of her life.

Andrew was an all-American young man. He graduated from Brookwood High School. He was a member of the marching band and participated in band competitions against Stephanie’s school, Parkview, of which she was a member of the color guard. He loved to fish and has caught more and bigger fish than I ever will. He was a golfer and avid fan of the University of Georgia (Roll Tide!) and professional hockey. He sang in youth choir and was an active member of the youth group. 

Andrew was an inspiration. Four years ago he was diagnosed with brain cancer. But he continued on with life and married his high school sweetheart, Kristin, and earned an Associate’s degree from Oxford College of Emory University. At the time of his death on May 12 he was a BBA student at Emory University’s Goizueta Business School. 

As I think back on our years with Andrew, I remember his goal was to become a millionaire before 30 and he was well on his way before he ever graduated high school. I never saw such a young man with so much passion for being an entrepreneur. He even made me want to buy things he had for sale! But there were some times when his decisions went awry. I remember one time when Andrew and his sidekick, Zac, went a little wayward…daddy Glenn decided to teach them a lesson through hard labor by having them landscape the church flower beds. It was a lesson well learned. I even felt sorry for them on that dreadful hot summer day!

On Monday night when I had received the call from Stephanie that he was fighting for his life I was right in the middle of dealing with some of our children at Buckhorn Children and Family Services who were wanting to end theirs.

I sat down with one young lady and told her of Andrew’s story. The will, the determination, the drive and the passion with which he fought. In Georgia was a young man fighting for his life while in Kentucky one was wishing she could end hers. My heart broke. It broke for Andrew and it broke for her. Oh how I wish she could have met Andrew and heard his story from his own lips.

As ministers, we face life and death every day. No one lives forever but some are just taken too soon. Andrew lived an amazing life. Did he fulfill all of his dreams? No. But he did leave a lot of memories behind. As for me and my family we are forever grateful that our paths crossed his. We are blessed because of him.

When Andrew began this fight we hoped he would defeat cancer. Cancer took his physical life, but it did not quench his spirit...he beat cancer when he did not let cancer take away his Spirit. ---Dr. Glenn Ethridge, Andrew's father