PEANUT

I remember vividly the first time I encountered him. It was during my first month as Minister of Music, Youth and Children at Pleasant Hill Baptist Church. Donna and I were newly married and had trekked off to college to journey on the path towards a vocational career in ministry. I had served previously with churches in my hometown but this was the first time away from home and family, headed toward a career path I knew absolutely nothing about. The move and the new path seemed daunting, intimidating and a little scary. But the folk of Pleasant Hill changed all of those feelings, especially the Morrow and Waldrop families.

He wasn’t much younger than Donna and me. He was in high school and involved in the youth ministry of Pleasant Hill. His parents sang in the adult choir.  His older brother and grandparents attended the church as well. I can’t remember how it all happened but to this day, I am indebted to the fact that it did, thankful that Yates and Helen Morrow took Donna and me in as family. Family, who fed us, entertained us, prayed for us and provided a “safe sanctuary.”

As you find in most southern rural communities, Yates and Helen lived in the house next door to his parents and their oldest son, Gary, lived next door to his grandparents.  Peanut lived in his parents’ household. All gathered in a “city block” size tract of land with space to be apart yet remain together.

Peanut was not his real name but it should have been. I am sure I was told but I can’t remember now how he got the nickname. Although he was in high school, he was beyond his years when conversing on various subjects.  He always had a unique and often challenging perspective. He had the ability to initiate deep thought, challenge the status quo and offer a differing ideology.  He could debate with the fierceness of a Princeton grad and with the speed of batting an eye, could interject a joke and have the whole room laughing. These were his gifts.

Yesterday, the folk of the Pleasant Hill community celebrated the life and home-going of Peanut who died suddenly at age 48. Peanut was our friend, our family, one of the first to hold our first born.  He was the resident debater and comedian. Although we didn’t maintain regular contact over the years, his memory will forever be etched in our experiences of life and on this day of reflection, his memory, like in those early days, challenges me.

I remember two significant gifts that Peanut possessed: the gift of love and the gift of laughter. Peanut loved Donna, Ashley and me as if we were biological family. He supported us, respected us and would help us with any chore upon request. I witnessed the love he had for his grandparents, mother, step-father, brother and niece. As in all families, he could argue with the best but at the end of the day, he loved.

Just as Peanut loved, he also laughed. Some of the funniest moments of my life were initiated by Peanut. He could turn any experience, observation or conversation into a laughable moment. There was one time, without any thought of danger he and his brother, Gary, crawled into an abandon gold mine with me in the deep woods of Holly Springs. I remember sitting in that dark, damp oversized “rat hole” when Peanut brought clarity and reality to what we had actually done. We could do nothing but laugh. People fell in love with him because his laughter was contagious and many people caught it!

While he loved and laughed, he also battled with life, just as we all do. He battled with decisions about lifestyle, career, family and his relationship with God. But then again, don’t we all? Like most of us, he will not be a candidate for sainthood but I am sure there is a reward or two when he meets his Savior and God.

When I reflect upon his life lessons I find that he has left me with these: (1) Love is a priceless commodity, one that is not given out often but is needed regularly and in big doses. Love more than you hate, encourage more than you discourage.  Be there for others and love yourself.  Let those around you know often that they are loved. (2) Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter heals, paves the path toward love and puts life in perspective. Don’t be so serious; learn to laugh. (3) Family isn’t necessarily all about biology. Family can be anybody whom you let in. Let more people into your life. (4) When you make a good decision, celebrate. When you make a bad decision, acknowledge it and move on. Don’t beat yourself up.

Peanut will be missed. He will be missed by his grandmother, mother, son, daughter, brother, nieces, nephews, in-laws and friends. Through his death, love and laughter in the world has become a little less in a time when we need more. May we fill the void and honor Peanut by loving and laughing a little more.

 

An Imprint

It was 1:55 a.m. on a Thanksgiving morning.  I held his hand, caressed his head and wiped one final tear from his watering eye and whispered in his ear thanks for loving me and being my granddad.  He breathed his last and went to his eternal home.  My friend, my hero, my granddaddy Wood, at 81 years of age, died.

I must be strong, I told myself. I called Hospice, the funeral home owner and then helped load the body in the hearse. I couldn't sleep so I wrote the obituary, planned the funeral and contacted the pall bearers.   

I was to deliver the eulogy.  I didn’t know if I could do it, but it was his request.  I honored his request and spoke for 20 minutes on the influence one man had upon my life.  It was a good funeral; he would never have believed how much influence he had upon the people of Barnwell County, SC after serving 35 years as a law enforcement officer. Chief of Police, Police Officers, Sheriff, Deputy Sheriffs and Game Wardens served as Honorary Pallbearers with all badges draped in black. Family, friends, hunting buddies, politicians and strangers gathered in respect. It was a good feeling to such him honored in this manner.

Later that day, it was time to leave, head back to our ministry field of Birmingham, AL. Before leaving, my family and I stopped by his grave site to take one final view of all the lovely flowers.  The crowd was gone, it was just me and my family…no role to play, just a grandson with his young family at the grave site of one whom he loved dearly. It was time…it was my turn to release my emotions and grieve. It was hard, it had been building up all week and I now needed to let go. 

This was one of the first times my girls saw me cry over a loved one. There had been no immediate family deaths up until this point. Seeing this, my youngest, Stephanie (at that time 6 years old), came up and hugged my leg and asked me, Dad is this a crying situation?  I told her it was and in the midst of my grief was a smile, a lesson and ray of hope as I witnessed her later actions.  Before we left, she wanted granddaddy to know she was there, so through her creative mind she placed her hand on the soft dirt of the freshly constructed grave, pressed heavily with the weight of her little body and left her imprint.  Now he’ll know I was here!

I learned a lesson that day.  Adults need to know that it is okay to grieve in the presence of our loved ones.  Grieving is good for the soul and mind.  Our children need to know that adults get sad and that life is not always easy, a state of ecstasy or designed for our pleasure. Life is hard and we need each other to make it to the next. Secondly, people in our midst need to know we’re here.  Just as Stephanie wanted her granddaddy to know she was here in his death, we need to let people know we are here through life by imprinting our love, support and encouragement upon those whom we encounter.

 

The Sanctity of Silence

Today is Holy Saturday of the Passion Week of Jesus Christ. Holy Saturday is the day after the crucifixion. After his death on the cross on Friday, Jesus' family lowered his body and quickly transported it to a borrowed tomb from Joseph of Arimathea. All of this had to happen in rapid fashion because of the fast-approaching hour of the Sabbath. No work could be done on the Sabbath and this included burials.

The body was placed in the tomb, a stone rolled in front of the entrance to seal and Roman guards were present to prevent anyone from stealing the body to further the "messiahship" ramblings of a young man from Nazareth. Sabbath descended and 24 hours of silence began.

The Sabbath held a sense of accomplishment for the Romans, Pharisees, Sadducees and nonbelievers. The longstanding institution, tradition and belief of the Jewish faith was being challenged from a young man born of a carpenter. People in panic often react through irrational words and behavior. Their reaction of sending someone to death by way of the cross was a display of their extreme and intense fear of coming change that was preached by this man.

The Sabbath for the "followers of the way" was a day of silence, wonder, bewilderment, concern, disappointment, reflection and just a "sinking feeling in the gut kinda day." Were they misinformed followers of an egocentric man from Nazareth? Did the cross derail Jesus' mission? What were they to do next, go back home and pick up past lives?

The Sabbath for the crucified Jesus is riddled with mystery. Nowhere in the Bible does it actually give an account of what happened with Jesus during this "silent" period. Some believe that during this time Jesus went into hell and preached to the souls imprisoned there. But I don't think there is a textual basis for that assumption. The normal assumption is that Jesus' fleshly body remained in the tomb, just as ours will remain in the grave. His spirit went to the Father just as ours will go.

The Sabbath of Passion Week for me is about silence. It was a day of silence and reflection for the followers of the way and so it continues to be for me. I think the day of silence was divinely designed by our Creator because He knew we needed it.

Silence is the perfect statement of faith. It is the perfect prayer. Silence allows the connection to God beyond what words can express. It is a special gift to us if we nurture, mature and make use of it. It is an act that allows our Creator to extend His divine arms, grab and embrace us. It is a journey whose path leads to perfect peace in Him.

I often find myself speaking when I should be silent. Often silent when I should be speaking. I pray that as I continue my daily walk towards Him, I will be more discerning between the two. So for today, I am silent.

May today not be my only day of silence during the next year because as God revealed centuries ago, the day after silence may literally be the day that changes the world and eternity.

The Sinister Act of Sequester

Today, our government officials, appointed and elected, should have grappled and found a solution to an event that will occur tonight at midnight due to their inability to act. The sequester that begins at midnight will not be felt immediately, but, over time will eat away at an already struggling nation. Within the next year, our citizens will see that these arbitrary budget cuts taking place because of the lack of leadership in Washington, DC. These cuts will not only hurt the economy, but will make life harder for the most vulnerable of society and threaten our national security.

I have lived in four states before coming to DC: Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky and South Carolina. If these sequestrations are played out to their fullest, the combined affects on these four states will be:

• 870 teachers and aides jobs will be at risk
• 1,910 low income students will lose work study jobs they have to help pay for college
• 111,000 students will lose access to support programs and special educational resources in public schools
• 174,630 workers will loose access to job training
• 190 public schools will lose funds to help at-risk students
• 86,000 Civilian Department of Defense employees will be furloughed
• 2,000 victims of domestic violence will lose access to support services
• $3,666,000.00 will be cut to provide meals to sick and homebound senior adults
• 9,500 fewer children will get vaccinations
• $2,238,000.00 will be cut that provides response to threats of infectious diseases and natural disasters

This is but a few of the negative effects that will be felt. I hope the numbers are wrong, but more importantly, this isn't a conversation that even needs to be taking place. The above cuts alone will not move our government to a solution. The announcement today that free flights upon military aircraft will no longer be available to elected officials, unless they are flying to a militarized zone, and that they will have to fly commercial will most probably get them to act soon.
This sequester and the debt ceiling issues have occurred because we have allowed our elected and appointed officials to become so polarized that the forward movement of this country is virtually stagnant. We no longer employ our government officials to move our nation forward but to rest on their laurels and argue. This was not the design.

Our government and party system was designed to foster healthy conflict and vigorous debate in an effort to get the best ideas, ideals and visions on the table so that the brightest minds of our country could then collaborate and cooperatively move forward, knowing that no one party or group gets their way all of the time. I believe what we are encountering today is a new cultural phenomena. 

No longer do we celebrate cooperative collaborations. We are a people who now enjoy conquer and divide. We love debate and we love stopping forward movement of the opposing "view" even better. The joy today is finding in keeping those we oppose from doing anything, even if its right. This is happening not only in politics but also business, international relations, faith relations, relations within our communities of faith and in our families. We have become more tech savvy, social media dependent  and dysfunctional with interpersonal and face to face relationships.

Recently, I have been reminded by Henry Blackaby that leaders do what is right while politicians do what is popular. Unfortunately, we have a gap in leadership and a whole lot of politicians in every aspect of life. People actually know what is right and still do not act upon it and this saddens me.

I am afraid until folk, both inside and outside of the Church, understand the concept that Apostle Paul was trying to get across in I Corinthians 12, polarization will continue to rule the day. 

Was a solution found today? No. Even if a solution was found there was not enough elected leaders in DC to pass the recommendation and avoid the sequester...shameful. What is more shameful is that procrastination is tolerated by the American people. That, my folks, is on you and me.

My advice? In the future elect and appointment leaders, not politicians! Elect women and men who have a record of successful collaboration, a trail of networking, healthy relationships of diversity, a history of being proactive and making timely decisions that enhance the whole and not a part. These folk exists...they are community leaders, faith leaders, business leaders, and entrepreneurs. Basically, I think the future is with leaders who are spread throughout this country and not presently serving in Washington, DC.

Be a Force of Nature!

FEMA, NOAA Launch National Severe Weather Preparedness Week

March 3-6, 2013

The past few years have been an important reminder to all of us that severe weather can strike anytime and anyplace. Nearly every region of the country experienced some form of extreme weather, from hurricanes to snowstorms to tornadoes, and even historic derecho, a rare and violent line of thunderstorms.

Each year, many people are killed or seriously injured by severe weather despite advance warning. In 2012, there were more than 450 weather-related fatalities and nearly 2, 600 injuries nationwide. Tornadoes struck 46 states, caused over $1.6 billion in damage and nearly 70 fatalities. There were more that 935 tornadoes in 2012, with 206 in April alone. Severe weather knows no boundaries and affects every individual. It is time for bold preparedness actions.

The DC Baptist Emergency Response Team, FEMA and the NOAA have partnered to highlight the importance of making severe weather preparedness a nationwide priority.

We want all the peace of mind of knowing that our families, friends, homes, churches and businesses are safe and protected from threats of any kind. And while we can't control where or when the next disaster will hit, we can take responsibility for preparing ourselves and loved ones for emergencies.

As we reflect on the tragic weather events of the past, we're calling on you to Be a Force of Nature. Knowing your risk, taking action and being an example for others are just a few steps you can take to be better prepared and assist in saving lives.

Join us in becoming A Force of Nature, by Pledging to Prepare and follow these steps before severe weather affects your area:

Know Your Risk: the first step to becoming weather-ready is to understand the type of hazardous weather that can affect where you live and work, and how the weather could impact you and your family. Check the weather forecast regularly and visit ready.gov/severe-weather to learn more.

Pledge and Take Action: Pledge to develop an emergency plan based on your local weather hazards and practice how and where to take shelter before a severe event. Post the plan in your home, business, and/or church. Put an emergency kit together for your home and car and keep important papers and valuables in a safe place. Download FEMA's mobile app so you can access important safety tips on what to do before and during severe weather. Understand the weather warning system and become a certified storm spotter through the National Weather Service.

Be an Example: Once you have taken action, tell your family, friends and co-workers about how they can prepare. Share the resources and alert systems you discovered through your social media network.

Building a weather-ready nation requires the action of each and every one of us. A weather ready nation is building community resilience in the face of increasing vulnerability to extreme weather and water events. Pledge to be prepared, plan to act and encourage your community to Be a Force of Nature!

"All I Need is Jesus"

On my Facebook Newsfeed today, one of my friends posted “All I need is Jesus. I want nothing more and I will settle for nothing less!” For some reason, these words pricked me. Such a simple statement, yet one that has dramatic implications to one who really means and lives it out. Unfortunately, I am afraid this is just another flippant statement we randomly blurt out when we think we have to say something or make a statement just because we’ve been silent too long. But we rarely know, understand or care about the ramifications or implications of such statements, personally or communally.

You’ve heard them, you’ve made them:

•  I’ll pray for you. You never followed through, it was well meant but your mind went on to other things. 
• Call me if you ever need me. But you don’t really mean it and if you do, you want the call at a decent hour of the day.
• If I were rich I’d help the poor, hurting and disenfranchised. Do you tithe to your church weekly? Would you be willing to set aside the money you spend for one coke and a bag of chips each day and then give to a charitable organization? You've seen the guy hold the sign up "Will work for food" have you ever just bought him a meal with no strings?
• I can’t believe he/she did that. It is an unforgivable sin! What about the sin in your life? You only commit forgivable sins? Judging others is much more easier than loving and bestowing grace.
• I am doing wonderful! The most repeated lie on Sunday morning. I have never met anyone on Sunday who replied when asked how they are doing, “I have had a hell of a week, my kids are driving me crazy and my wife thinks I never do any work around the house.” It's hard being authentic and vulnerable.
• It’s the Lord’s will. Oh, so the Lord willed a man to get drunk, get in his car and run over your friends’ 6 year old child! You just had to say something. We downplay the power of evil and presence of satanic forces.
• Boy, the preacher really stepped on my toes today! It was a great sermon! Oh, so you go to church to get beat up. Doesn’t the world do enough beating? Your idea of a good sermon is leaving bruised, wounded and feeling even guiltier? Or do you mean that you’re okay, the sermon was for the “other folk”? 
• I would have loved to have lived in Jesus’ day. Do you really mean that? Do you think you actually have the strength to go against the world, go against the only church/religion you ever knew to follow someone the government and religious leaders labeled a heretic and blasphemer? What do you stand for today? Will you take a stand against the U.S. Government? Your church? Your friends?

The list could on for infinity because we are good at talking without expecting to follow through and actually act. Is it any wonder that politicians talk the talk but never walk the talk? We all do it, but back to the statement that spurred these thoughts…All I need is Jesus. I want nothing more and I will settle for nothing less.

All I need is Jesus. I agree I need Jesus but I need other things as well. I need food, shelter, clothes, a job and human relationships. Once I “get Jesus”, having gotten Him should inform how and what I nourish my body with, what I wear, where I live, work the purpose He has given me and associate with those I should be in community with. 

I want nothing more. Really? You have no personal desires, ambitions, cravings, or dreams? Once “gotten”, He will redirect your desires, ambitions, cravings, and dreams to things that will bring honor and glory to Him. He wants you to want more. He just helps you rediscover what the “more” is. 

I will settle for nothing less. Most Christians have settled for less. Most “get Jesus”, get baptized, join a church, attend that church semi-regularly, tithe semi-regularly and try to be a good person. Jesus doesn’t want us to be as settled as we are. We forget that Jesus was not a “settler.” He was a radical that challenged the way of life, challenged the traditions of the Church, didn’t expect anything from the government and hung out with stinky fishermen, prostitutes, adulterers, traitors, crooked government officials, and handicapped and diseased folk. Basically, the Son of God liked hanging with the least, lost, lonely and left-out of the world!

So the next time you say All I need is Jesus, remember that may have more implications that you are willing to commit to.

A Gift for Sarah

The moment my three girls were born, I was born as well. Their entry in the universe was transformative for me, as they turned me from a person into a parent — a permanent alteration, a complete reconfiguration of all one knows to be true in the world. These tiny, spectacular creatures who have, at different times, kept me up at night, sent me running and chasing, challenged some of my most basic beliefs and completely unhinged me, have also taught me how to love unconditionally, how to stretch beyond the limitations of my experience, and how to imagine a different world.

All three of my girls are different. While sharing the same parents, household and values, God uniquely infused each with their own set of intellectual, spiritual, and physical DNA that sets apart each from the other. Only God can do this and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The diversity within our own family has brought intrigue, growth, surprise and strength.

My second-born daughter, Sarah Elizabeth, graduated this past December from the University of Alabama’s Capstone School of Nursing. This was a huge moment in life — probably more for her than for me, although I’m not sure — and the mass of thoughts and emotions are a bit overwhelming.

Sarah is completely her own person. From the earliest of life, she sought to carve her own way. Strong-willed was an understatement. One Easter we lost her in the Mall while visiting Donna’s sister in South Georgia. The Mall had to go on lock-down to discover that she “slipped away” from us to go sit in the lap of the Easter Bunny. She rebelled from day one on having to ride in a car seat. On long trips, we had to rely on the calming and sedating effects of Dramamine in order to keep her belted and secure in the protective seat.

Early on, we discovered her passion for care-giving. She was always an advocate for the least, lost, lonely and left-out. She loves church and especially missions. She spent a summer in Brasilia, Brazil at the age of 15 and since then has served in Peru, Ecuador and Zambia. She always tell the truth, whether you like it or not. She bears and lives out her convictions even if it costs her opportunities and friends.

Today, she still hasn’t wavered. Her vision of life is completely her own, her identity proudly independent and strong. I am in awe of her entire person, and her continued presence, the blessed intertwining of our journeys for mission, which has been nothing short of a divine gift.

There is something profoundly sad for me, too.

Being her dad flew by too quickly. When she was born, those sleepless nights made me feel as though I would have forever to be with her, teach her and model a positive life for her. But “forever” turned in to be just a moment in time. I feel as though I my mistakes over-powered the good decisions and actions I sought to model. I cannot redo her childhood, go back to when she was 3, 5, 7, 11 or 17 and speak to that part of her mind. I cannot help but feel like I have been profoundly inadequate.

At the same time, she’s off on this monumental transition and the possibilities are spectacular. What a fantastic moment in life! I want her to see the world, meet interesting people and experience all the abundance of connections and awareness and humanity that the world has to offer. I want her to live boundlessly, to feel the sky, the earth and the wind, to run, jump and fly through life, to let her spirit stretch beyond what is perceived as possible.

Mostly, at this moment, I want to give her something to take with her on her journey, some kind of great wisdom. I feel like my job right now as a parent is to adequately arm her as she takes these first steps into the wide world. I want to be her protector and her enabler, her grounding and her springboard, her home and her entire galaxy. I want to be there with her, but I want her to be free of me. I want to be in her heart, but I want her heart to go further than what I can offer her. I want to give her a piece of my own spirit to always have with her — so I will always have a piece of hers in me — but I don’t want her to be bound by my own limitations.

I don’t really know how to do all this. I know fatherhood never really ends, and yet it feels like the scenes in which I have lines in this production are over.

All that remains, I think, is love. All I can equip her with in this life is the knowledge — complete, uncompromising and uninhibited — that she is loved. It seems to me that there are two types of people in this world, those who know that they are loved and those who don’t. The former are the ones who live fully, without fear and inhibition. That’s what I want for my daughter. I want her to go through life with the unquestioning knowledge that she is fully loved, that she can go and do anything and there will be people behind her — her mother, her father, and her siblings— who always have her back, support her, trust her and believe in her no matter what. I think that such knowledge combats fear, the kind of fear that keeps people from living fully. That is what I have to give her.

So this is my gift to you, Sarah, as you embark on this remarkable journey called life. I am no longer the father who will hold your hand at the mall, buckle you into the car seat, pick you up from school, approve your friends, set a curfew or tell you whether or not you can do something or see someone. But I am and will continue to be the father who loves you with my whole heart and soul. I am your greatest cheerleader in life, the one in the stands watching as you go and fly. Take my love, and live.