Emotional Intelligence of Nonprofit Leaders

Years ago, emotional intelligence was considered an intangible "soft skill" in discussions about leadership. "Soft skills" seemed secondary to the mastery of professional skills and academic or technical knowledge. Today, research shows that leaders who have emotional intelligence are more effective in building and motivating boards and leading management teams. 

As nonprofits become more complex, grow in size, expand nationally and globally, and interact with different communities and cultures, leaders need to draw from beyond their grasp of technical skills on how to solve a problem. In the article summation below, Anna Saporio writes in Philadelphia Social Innovations Journal (October 2009), that without emotional intelligence "a person can have the best training in the world, an incisive analytical mind, and an endless supply of smart ideas, but he still won't make a great leader." 

The five aspects of emotional intelligence are: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, sympathy, and social skills.

Self-Awareness is the capacity to identify one’s own strengths and weakness, and to behave at the workplace in ways that capitalize on the former and minimize the latter. All too often in organization’s we acknowledge individual strengths and say “great, but now let us focus on your weaknesses” to the detriment of the individual and organization. As individuals, we have allowed others to make their “imprint” upon our self-awareness rather than being responsible for self-evaluation and self-honesty leading one to being comfortable with who we are and what we bring to the table which ultimately morphs into being okay with oneself. Candor about areas of weakness, comfort with oneself and a strong and positive sense of self-worth characterize people who are self-aware.

Self-Regulation is related to self-awareness, but describes more specifically the ability to control emotions, whether negative or positive, in order to maintain a demeanor best suited for professional practice and activity. People who are self-regulated have an ability to create an organizational culture of trust, fair, open, transparent and authentic. Conflict is reduced, bad moods less frequent and a propensity for reflection and thoughtfulness wins out.

Motivation represents the will to achieve – eagerness, drive, ambition – regardless of obstacles. These leaders are forever raising the performance bar and competiveness with self and others. If unchecked can be harmful to the organization but when balanced with the other four aspects becomes a characteristic that propels the leader forward and thus the organization. These leaders see opportunities to exploit where other do not.

Empathy describes the leader’s intuitive understanding of staff’s non-technical needs and the ability to communicate that understanding effectively. Here the organizational leader is not adopting the staff emotions as his/hers or is trying to please everybody but exhibits a heart of respect and ability to hear what the staff is saying. Creating a culture of effectively affirming one another, offering an atmosphere of honesty and a willingness to listen to all can go a long way in developing strong teams that get things done.

Social Skill is the ability to leverage relationships toward the ideas and ideals a leader wants to promote, through likability, trust and respect. This ability is all about relationships. Having an organizational leader strapped to a desk is the worst thing any organization can do. If you really want to create a winning organization that will continue to be valuable, vital and viable in the years to come, make sure you give your leader the flexibility to be “out and about” building and finessing relationships.

Do you have the right leader for your organization? Have you released your leader to live fully into these five aspects of emotional intelligence? Are these areas which are valued in your organization or are part of your leaderships' evaluations? What next steps do you need to take to maximize your leadership?

Lessons from Soldiers

In the 2002 movie, We Were Soldiers, a commanding officer portrayed by actor Mel Gibson, addressed his men about the upcoming mission:

Look around you in the 7th Cavalry. We’ve got a captain from the Ukraine, another from Puerto Rico. We’ve got Japanese, Chinese, Blacks, Hispanics, Cherokee Indians, Jews, and Gentiles—all American soldiers.

Now here in the States, some men here in this unit may experience discrimination because of race or creed, but for you and me now all that is gone. We’re moving into the Valley of the Shadow of Death, where you’ll watch the back of the man next to you as he will watch yours. And you won’t care what color he is or by what name he calls God. They say we’re leaving home—we’re going to what home was always supposed to be.

So let us understand the situation. We’re going into battle against a tough and determined enemy. I can’t promise you I’ll bring you all home alive, but this I swear before you—before the Almighty God—that when we go into battle I will be the first to set foot on the field and last to step off and I will leave no one behind—dead or alive. We will all come home together!

It is interesting that in this movie, it would be on foreign soil that a family of soldiers would find unity, trust, faith, camaraderie and a chance to live as we were designed by our Creator. While their mission was military in nature and ours is to change the world I think the commanding officer's words has application.  

All throughout biblical history, religion has been a divisive factor among people, faith groups and even countries. Men and women have fought over religion, religious leaders have been martyred and innocent bystanders have been caught in the fray and always the victor claimed, "We won because God was on our side." 

As we look deeper into each stream of world religions we find that even within a singular theological stream of thought, divisiveness continues to exist thus separating and causing debate within the body. Christians against Christians, Muslims against Muslims, Buddhists against Buddhists....all centering on the divisive issues surrounding the smallest theological differences or interpretations. In my opinion, the minutiae of these differences are negligible and exists only to divide and cause dissension.

In the name of religion, masses of people have been slaughtered, imprisoned, sentenced to a life of slavery in one form or another, used to support discrimination/prejudice and exclusiveness, and further used to foster a sense of superiority. Even today, in perhaps the smartest, most intellect and spiritually enlightened era, religion still divides, even within the same body.

Look at the issues that seek to divide us today: 

(1) Some prominent religious leaders have accused the President of the United States of not being a Christian, despite his acknowledgement that he is a Christian (Now we are judging who is and is not a follower?). 

(2) Political opponents are taking their lead from religious leaders by attacking the theology and the "correct or incorrect" exegesis of others (What happened to freedom of scripture interpretation and priesthood of the believer?). 

(3) Christians are debating on who to vote for based on a candidate's faith or perceived lack of rather than ability to lead and govern appropriately (Do we really want a theocracy? Is the Church wanting to give its responsibility to the government?). 

(4) Denominational leaders continue to argue over the role of females in Pastoral leadership (Who are we to question one's acknowledgement of God's call? Proof-texting is the foundation for such a belief but they employ that methodology inconsistently.)  

(5) One denomination recently questioned rather or not a name change would be in order to create a more positive witness (I really don't think the world cares about one's name, especially the folks that the Church should be reaching. A name does not carry a positive or negative view, one's actions defines who you are and how you are perceived.) 

(6) Meetings are held in secret to determine if one's leadership style or continuing leadership is still wanted. (The disturbers of today's church culture, those who are trying to shake things up and run against the streams of political correctness and institutionalism, are eyed with suspicion because institutional leadership want the ways of the past to rule the ways of the future.)

Maybe, perhaps the earlier analogy of military operations is valid. Our common enemy seems not to be the evils of the world but the issues within us and our families of faith.

As a Christian, I believe the only purest to walk on this earth was Jesus Christ. It was his ministry and teachings that set the bar for the emerging Church. The movement brought about by Jesus Christ was not a movement that began in the Church, within a political leader or established government. The Jesus movement was a movement of common and often outcast people of his day.

Jesus, the Messiah, didn't look to the Church because they were too busy trying to keep an institution alive, the laws enforced and leverage their position with ruling governmental authorities. Jesus didn't turn to the political leaders or government because it was a movement that couldn't be legislated, forced or institutionalized. So Jesus looked to the folk who needed a miracle in their own life, folk who could be taught a new way to do "church" and a folk who could let the baggage of the past go.

I wonder what would happen if during the next four years, whether than look to an institution, elected political leader or a governmental entity to change the world, we look within ourselves and our local community of faith to assume the role of a world changer? Changing how we relate one to another by setting aside our judgmental attitudes of who's right and who's wrong, who's in and who's out, who's called and who's not, and who's fit to lead and who's not might just put us back on the path that Jesus intended us to journey from the beginning.

Just think what could happen if we began to focus on cooperative efforts to eradicate hunger, poverty, abuse, lawlessness, disease, alienation, and the unending list of human struggles through a literal “cup of cold water” and the gift of the “Living Water” that is found in a relationship with Jesus Christ. This mission would require cooperation, trust, respect, and diversity with faith in Jesus Christ as the unifying foundation, not the theological minutia, in order for this to be successful. We would have to be willing to rise above our self, and see beyond our differences, color, gender, theology, and political views.

The only way to really change the world is to realize that as a people of God, we have to change first and then move out—out of the sanctuary walls, off the church campus, and into the world—to places where the Good News of Jesus Christ was meant to be preached and lived in spite of our differences, so that at the end of the day We will all come home together!

StoryTelling

Recently after delivering a sermon, an elderly lady approached me and said, “I love hearing you preach. You should leave the Convention and go back into ministry!” I laughed and asked why she liked my preaching. She responded, “Because you are a storyteller, and we needed you to tell us the story about who we are and what we can become.” This was perhaps one of the best compliments I’ve ever gotten, and it put me to thinking…This lady knows that we live according to our stories, and if the story we’re living isn’t great, it can be changed.

Jesus did that with the woman at the well. She went to the well during the heat of the day as a social outcast. Her story was that of a fallen woman, and she worked when she would not be seen or taunted. She bought into the town’s story of who she was. Jesus looked at her and saw her old story hovering around her. He told her the story she knew so well. Then he talked about her thirst, a thirst beyond any need for a drink or a man, emanating from her very soul: If you knew who was talking to you right now, you would ask him for a drink of Living Water and know that you will never be thirsty again. She went from believing that she was an outcast to someone running back in the middle of the day to recruit the whole town to come and see him.

Perhaps no entity has been as effective at changing lives outside the church as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). People enter AA at their lowest depths of despair with their old stories and have the opportunity to re-enter life with a new story. Their first step in the journey towards recovery involves admitting one’s powerlessness over alcohol and that their lives have become unmanageable. The second step leads to a belief that a Power greater than themselves could restore them back to sanity. They walk in to a gathering of souls with old stories feeling alone and have the opportunity to walk out with a new Higher Power on their side to help re-type their future story.

Many therapists use a technique involving their clients working through old stories to find new meanings. Only when they transfer to believing the new stories does healing take place. In his book, How Customers Think, Gerald Zaltman writes that the words store and story are very similar for a reason. The mind stores what it attaches emotion to, and by working stories around information, memory improves. Memory gurus teach people to remember a name by creating a story around it.

Do you know that the stories we tell about ourselves often tend to come true? The truth is we live out daily the stories we believe about ourselves. What story is that? Is it the story you created or the story someone else created for you? Do you need to rewrite the story you are living into? If so, start writing today!

Service: A Series Part Four

Service is...Incarnational, Evangelical, Relational and Nutritional

Nutritional. Many pastors consciously or subconsciously subscribe to a “growth” or “spiritual formations” model in helping their congregations mature in faith. They know that the Bible has something to do with growth; but is the Bible, by itself, sufficient for spiritual health and growth?

Good nutrition alone cannot make a person healthy. Good Bible teaching alone is insufficient for spiritual maturity. People need exercise for physical health and serve for spiritual health. We learn from Scripture, but we grow by serving others.

In serving, people have opportunities to have their faith stretched. Of course, it is possible to serve without growing spiritually, just as some people can stuff themselves with knowledge and never really do anything with the wisdom gained. Some people are scared of serving outside their circle of friends. One of the neatest congregational models of service I’ve seen was at Taylor Road Baptist Church’s in Montgomery, AL.

This project of service was the brainchild of then pastor, Dr. Joe Godfrey, who engaged every Sunday School class in at least one act of service during the year. Each class elected a missions leader who was responsible for attending a mission fair and coming back with ideas for the class. Once committed to a project, the Sunday School class prepared for the act of service and then reported back to the church.

Serving in groups, especially through the Sunday School clusters, benefits congregations. I believe that four strategic things can happen through this type of service model:

1.      Service gets small groups out of their comfort zones.

2.      Service causes groups to bond together in tight relationships.

3.      Service is a vehicle for groups to use the spiritual gifts of the “whole” and take advantage of evangelistic opportunities.

4.      Service of the group provides visual goodwill in the community of that church.

Another benefit of serving as a group is that there is often an immediate gratification that swirls around in the group and motivates continued growth. People thrive on opportunities to give back to others, to make a difference, to positively influence the world around them, and to be a part of enhancing their community.

A wise person once stated that “we begin to grow when we take responsibility for the growth of another person.” Are you ready to serve, yet? Are you ready to grow deeper in your faith journey? If so, dive in and serve someone in need today!

Service: A Series Part Three

Service is...Incarnational, Evangelical, Relational and Nutritional

Relational. In the early centuries of the Church, Christ’s followers, filled with compassion and kindness, served the people around them. It is estimated that the early Church grew at a rate of 40% per decade during this time. They didn’t have direct mail, large special events, banners, or the internet to get their message across. All they had were themselves. 

They followed a daily discipline of worship in the Temple followed by meals at home, every meal a celebration, exuberant and joyful, as they praised God. People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved — (Acts 2:46-47 from The Message). 

God entrusted His message to the Church then, and that responsibility is still ours today. While events can help us gather the masses, they can’t take the place of Christians rubbing shoulders with non-Christians.

The church that develops long-term, trusting relationships with the community is the one that has an opportunity to influence its culture. The most effective way to do that seems to be in the context of serving. In meeting the needs of others and serving alongside them, we cannot help but create relationships. Relationships are key to building bridges into the community.

So how do we go about this? Here are some following paths to journey:

1. Rub shoulders. Get off the campus of the church (non-Christians don’t go to church). Get into the community and discover where the people are, what they are doing, and how they are hurting.
2. Recognize that relationships take time. Serving the community once a year will not build a relationship or reputation of being a caring church. Service must be constant and daily. In time, the relationship and reputation develops.
3.  Partner with other churches and organizations that genuinely care about the community’s health and welfare. Ministering with assistance from the DC Baptist Convention can help strengthen your efforts through cooperation and compilation of resources and expertise. 
4.  Develop partnerships and ministries with no strings attached. One rule of thumb is that churches should come ONLY to serve and bless, not to control.

Serving others puts us into relationships with those we serve and those with whom we are serving. Are you ready to serve?

Service: A Series Part Two

Service is... Incarnational, Evangelical, Relational and Nutritional.

Evangelical. Sometimes we ask ourselves: “But what if we serve and nothing happens? What if we do all this and they don’t respond? What if we spend all this money for a community event and no one comes to know the Lord or becomes a member of our church?” A pastor confessed to me that one of the hardest things about his church’s ministry to the community is to work all day cleaning up a man’s yard without being thanked.

Some people will say they’ve never experienced such love before, some will indeed receive Christ, and some will even become vibrant leaders in the church, but a lot of people will simply have no response to your service. That’s OK, it’s all happened before.

Jesus knelt with a cloth and pitcher of water. Having loved his own… he now showed them the full extent of his love. He washed his disciples’ feet, his last recorded act of service before the Cross. What did one have to do to deserve a foot washing? Have faith? If so, Jesus should have skipped Thomas. Demonstrate loyalty? Well, then he should have passed by Peter. Behave honestly? Then he should have skipped Judas, the one who would betray him. No, he would wash the feet of all — the act was about Jesus, not them. Service is truly service only when it is done without the expectation of repayment.

Knowing that only one of the ten lepers whom he would heal would return to give thanks did not prevent Jesus from healing the other nine. Healing was what the Father called him to do, whether people thanked him or not. 

The Apostle Paul reminds us, Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people.

Good deeds help those in need. Good deeds can engender the goodwill of the city. Good deeds can get people to think and be willing to hear more. Good deeds can elicit amazement and cause people to say “Wow!” Good deeds can draw people into your church and into relationships with Christians. Good deeds can be the bridge or the road, but they are not the saving message that crosses that bridge or travels that road. Good deeds are the complement but never the substitute for good news. So continue to do good deeds and be prepared with the good message regardless how often you may have to share it!

SERVICE: A Series--Part One

Service is... Incarnational, Evangelical, Relational and Nutritional.

Each holiday season, phone lines among nonprofits are filled with people wanting to do good. Interest in others always peaks during the holidays. It's a way to soothe, an otherwise guilty conscious, our guilt of extravagant living. For the disciplined Christian, service to others is a daily opportunity. For the next several postings I will share with you the call that many of us and our churches have forgotten--the power of being externally focused.

Service is incarnational. Service is the point where the needs and dreams of the city, the mandates and desires of God, and the calling and capacity of the Church all come together. The community may not care much about salvation, but it does have needs. In meeting those needs, meaningful relationships develop and out of relationships come opportunities to share the love and gospel of Christ. The early Church grew because her people loved and served. I believe servants can go anywhere and make a difference. Service gives us access not only to places of need but also places of influence.

Increasingly our Convention staff find we are being invited to serve in places where we never could have imagined, giving us the opportunity of bridging love, grace and redemption. It is God's kindness through our service that leads people to a response and better understanding of Him, not the threat of His judgment. Barriers to the gospel are removed when people are served and blessed by our expressions of hospitality. It has been said that there is only one way to God and that is through Jesus; however, there are a thousand ways to Jesus.

As we enter into the life of the city through service, we have the opportunity to engage people from whom we normally have been isolated. We see relationships form and people taking steps toward God and His Church. Good deeds form a great bridge over which the good news can travel.

Beginning this quarter among D.C. Baptists, the Journey of 180 will kick-off the convention's challenge of discerning, dialoguing and dreaming about the future work of our Baptist congregations. a major part of this journey will be discovering the places that God is at work in the world around us and how we can join in His mission. I have a suspicion that we will hear many creative ideas, energizing streams of thought and prophetic messages. While I look forward to this time of reflection and visioning, I hope that we will also be able to turn our words into action. Will you join me?