It was 1:55 a.m. on a Thanksgiving morning. I held his hand, caressed his head and wiped one final tear from his watering eye and whispered in his ear thanks for loving me and being my granddad. He breathed his last and went to his eternal home. My friend, my hero, my granddaddy Wood, at 81 years of age, died.
I must be strong,
I told myself. I called Hospice, the funeral home owner and then helped load the body in the hearse. I couldn't sleep so I wrote the obituary, planned the funeral and contacted the pall
bearers.
I was to deliver the
eulogy. I didn’t know if I could do it,
but it was his request. I honored his request
and spoke for 20 minutes on the influence one man had upon my life. It was a good funeral; he would never have
believed how much influence he had upon the people of Barnwell County, SC after
serving 35 years as a law enforcement officer. Chief of Police, Police Officers, Sheriff, Deputy Sheriffs and Game Wardens served as Honorary Pallbearers with all badges draped in black. Family, friends, hunting buddies, politicians and strangers gathered in respect. It was a good feeling to such him honored in this manner.
Later that day, it was time to leave, head back to our ministry field of
Birmingham, AL. Before leaving, my family and I stopped by his grave site to
take one final view of all the lovely flowers.
The crowd was gone, it was just me and my family…no role to play, just a
grandson with his young family at the grave site of one whom he loved dearly. It
was time…it was my turn to release my emotions and grieve. It was hard, it had
been building up all week and I now needed to let go.
This was one of the first times my girls saw me cry over
a loved one. There had been no immediate family deaths up until this point.
Seeing this, my youngest, Stephanie (at that time 6 years old), came up and
hugged my leg and asked me, Dad is this a
crying situation? I told her it was
and in the midst of my grief was a smile, a lesson and ray of hope as I witnessed her later actions. Before we left, she wanted granddaddy to know
she was there, so through her creative mind she placed her hand on the soft
dirt of the freshly constructed grave, pressed heavily with the weight of her
little body and left her imprint. Now he’ll know I was here!
I learned a lesson that day. Adults need to know that it is okay to grieve
in the presence of our loved ones.
Grieving is good for the soul and mind.
Our children need to know that adults get sad and that life is not
always easy, a state of ecstasy or designed for our pleasure. Life is hard and we need each other to make it to the next. Secondly, people
in our midst need to know we’re here. Just as Stephanie wanted her granddaddy to
know she was here in his death, we
need to let people know we are here through
life by imprinting our love, support and encouragement upon those whom we
encounter.
