Writing as a Spiritual Discipline

I started writing this blog out of a weekly writing habit I developed when I was the Executive Director of the Birmingham Baptist Association. When this began in Birmingham, I had deadlines for our weekly newsletter.  Since I started blogging while Executive Director/Minister with the District of Columbia Baptist Convention, I had no deadlines so I just wrote as time permitted. I have tried continuing the discipline as I transitioned to Appalachia Kentucky as President/CEO of Buckhorn Children & Family Services, but I have let life interrupt the flow of writing.

I started writing because of how other people’s writing made me feel, especially the writings of Dr. Buddy McGohon and Dr. Lloyd Batson. No, they are not professional writers; they are men of faith who wrote stories of family, parishioners and experiences in life. They inspired, they challenged and they gave hope by finding the greatest of lessons in the smallest of things. Through their mentoring from a pen, I discovered my love for writing and sharing life’s simplest lessons through my lens of the world.

Recently my wife pointed out that I haven’t blogged in a while, yet the untold stories of life observations continue to swirl around in forms that are unwritten. Then I got to thinking, “maybe I should develop a disciplined system of writing.”

Discipline? I have never been able, in any substantial way, to incorporate the traditional spiritual disciplines into my journey with Christ. My experiences with fasting are laughable while meditation and silence are beyond me! But I do love to write, although it is not considered a spiritual discipline.

In my quest to make writing my “discipline”, I found an article by Stephanie Paulsell that was printed in 2010 in the Christian Century: “It is a spiritual discipline to find the right word to set down next to another word in a way that reaches across boundaries and distances. Haunting every word is the presence of the word God spoke to reach out to us. In a culture in which words are flung out not as lifelines but as invective, it is an act of resistance to measure our words against the reconciling work of the Word that gives life and hope”.

Paulsell’s quote is more on target than ever before as we see the political polarization across this nation get wider and wider and invective language increase among all. I never thought I would see and hear the things I am witnessing around me. I have so wanted to weigh in on the dialogue but wisdom tells me better. At this point anything I say would be lost in the tumultous sea of polarization. Everybody is talking and no one is listening and observing as to what is happening in our nation. Let's just take a breath and relax!

Words are powerful and important. They have the ability to change and destroy careers and lives. Somehow we need to help change the conversation, steer it with the rudder of tolerance, patience, grace and most importantly, love. Perhaps my role is just to let life happen, set aside my hero cape and confess that my corner of the world (my work with abused/neglected children) is not solely upon my shoulders and get back to writing!

What about you? What discipline(s) do you need to work on?

Caring for the Most Vulnerable

During the month of April, thousands of advocates, elected officials, mental health providers, private child care agencies and volunteers came together across America to wear blue, plant blue pinwheels, release blue balloons and a myriad of other visual activities in observance of National Child Abuse Prevention Month.

To say child abuse/neglect is a problem in our nation and in our communities is a gross understatement. In fact, across the Commonwealth of KY it is increasing! Issues surrounding poverty, addiction, familial dysfunctions and mental health all contribute to the rise of abuse and neglect among the most vulnerable of society...our children.

Organizations like Buckhorn Children & Family Services have done an incredible service to the communities and States in which they serve by raising awareness and creating a sense of urgency for advocacy through their various outreach initiatives. Organizations like the Moyer Foundation(c) strive to break the cycle of violence, abuse and neglect and strengthen families through partnerships with local agencies like ours and the public school system. Buckhorn Children & Family Services is happy to come alongside other private child-care agencies, advocacy centers, the Moyer Foundation and the KY Department for Community-Based Services to treat those affected and eradicate this ill that haunts so many children in our midst.

For over 114 years, Buckhorn has been in the business of protecting children and helping families and we pray that the Lord will continue to bless us as we live out our mission. Times are tough financially but our children are worth the fight. The children and youth that come our way are more survivors than they are victims. They have survived the worst of the worst and have fought the "Goliaths of the dark" and somehow found their way to us.

When I see our children, I see beauty, talent, gifts, skills, potential and future hope. I am proud of our children and their tenacity and resiliency. If they can survive and get to us then we must provide them with all we have and our best practices in healing and providing hope.

What do we offer? We offer residential services to provide a therapeutic environment to children and teens that deal with highly aggressive behaviors, substance abuse, self-harming/mutilation, sexual reactivity and post-traumatic stress disorder, we also offer services in therapeutic foster care/adoption and in-home family preservation and reunification. Our latest achievement will be to implement Camp Mariposa(c) in Wolfe County to help children, ages 9-12, break the cycle of family addiction in June 2016.

As National Child Abuse Prevention Month draws to an end and one-by-one we take up the pinwheels planted in honor
the abused children in our care/community, we at Buckhorn Children & Family Services remain committed to do all the good we can by providing a sanctuary of health, healing and hope.

Enjoy the artwork created by two of our residents!

Just a Cup of Coffee

We each have such a unique and valuable role to play. And our voice, when used, can make an impact that we never imagined.

Just recently, I had coffee with someone I’d never met before. We chatted for a good 30 minutes about this and that, and I asked a lot of questions about her. But, after a bit, I could tell that she wanted to hear more about me, what I do, and what Buckhorn Children & Family Services is all about.

To be honest, since I explain Buckhorn to people so regularly, I often feel like I’m boring to listen to, and forget that it’s a fresh message to each new person who hears it. So I told her about our kids. I told her about the challenges of being in a remote region of Appalachia KY and the unique challenges that presents with hiring licensed clinicians and raising money. I shared that it takes $250 a day to care for a child but we only get $218 from our payor sources, which translates into us having to raise an additional $800,000 annually just to break even. I told her into addition to the money we have to raise to break even, we are trying to raise $11 million to do capital improvements, fund our recreation program and start an endowment to assist with our clinical and program services.

Well, after sharing briefly the Buckhorn story, challenges, the year we were about to complete and dreams for the future, she hesitated and said, “Well, I was abused when I was a kid. You’re only the second person I’ve ever told – and the first person was just last month. I want to help you help your kids because I suffered in silence and never got a chance to be a Buckhorn kid. I'll be a champion for your cause!”

Her eyes immediately began to well up and she told me more. My eyes began to tear as her story reminded me of the 1400 stories I read of our children who have graced our doors in 2015.

You might think that she needed me, my voice, and the Buckhorn story in order to tell hers. And, yes, I suppose that’s true – obviously, since I’m only the second person she’s ever told, she shared her story with me due to the role I have with Buckhorn.

But the truth is that I needed to hear her story. I needed her to be bold. I needed to see her eyes well up. I needed the emotional pull because I needed to be reminded once again of why I go to work every day. I needed to be reminded that it’s okay to be bold when I ask for money on behalf of my kids because it is for them we fight.

Hearing her story and sincerity was affirming and was just what I needed at just the moment I needed it. And if that wasn't enough, shortly after our meeting I received the following notes from former children and youth who went through our program of treatment:

• I just wanted to reach out and let you guys know that you most assuredly saved my life when I was a teenager and came to you for help. Because of the values you instilled in me, I am healthy, married and have three kids. I am raising my children under the same values you taught me.
• Thanks for putting up with all my "craziness, insane thoughts, anger and temper." You guys really knew what you were doing in trying to help me. I am alive because of you and am doing well. I have a great support group and am in school. I hope to graduate soon and come work for you guys so that I can help kids like me.
• I thought I was a nobody until I came to Buckhorn. At first, I thought all this love, encouragement and God talk was just another way for somebody to take advantage of me but you really showed me that you cared. It was the first time I ever experienced real love, compassion and held accountable for my present and future decisions. I will always be grateful to Buckhorn.
• When I came to the Dessie campus I thought I would just stay there until I turned 18, but I quickly learned different. Because of the caring staff, of which I hated but loved, making me work the program and the teachers at the school encouraging me to complete assignments, I am now a high school graduate and a graduate of your program at Dessie! I am excited to go home and get a job and start a future I never thought would be possible.

It's amazing what can happen over a cup of coffee. She needed my voice, yes, but, I also needed hers.

Would you pray and consider what role you could play in the Buckhorn story? Would you be willing to lend your voice on behalf of our children?

Today We Weep

Today, we weep as an agency and family of the Buckhorn Tribe upon learning that a former client of ours committed suicide at fifteen years of age.

Today, we are reminded of the importance of our mission and ministry to those whom we serve and the critical role we play in their healing.

Today, we weep for the loss of this young life and all of the potential that could have been.  

Today, we are reminded of just how precious life is and the hope that tomorrow has for all the children and youth we serve.

Today, we weep as the adoptive mother thanked us for all we did for her child and shared that she wished her child could have stayed with us longer.

Today, we are reminded of just how important we are to the lives of those who enter our doors and the challenge that we have to daily plant seeds of hope into every child's heart and soul.

Today, we weep for the loss and deep void that the family is feeling and all the unanswered questions that most assuredly will come to their mind.

Today, we are reminded how important family is and how limited we are as humans, knowing that many of our life questions will go unanswered.

Today, we weep for the children in our care that still battle their dark places and monsters they have encountered.

Today, we are reminded that these dark places and monsters are not of their doing but the actions of others upon them.

Today, we weep for the children in our care whom we advocate for, treat, support, and love and encourage each day praying to lead them to a better path in life.

Today, we are reminded of how important each Buckhorn Tribe staff member is in providing a sanctuary of health, healing and hope.

Today, we weep for the children who are not in our care and are presently experiencing the dark places and monsters in their life on a daily basis.

Today, we are reminded that child abuse and neglect is something real and we must do all we can to prevent and treat it.

Today, we weep for a child welfare system that is broken and needs reform but is just being ignored as young lives are lost daily.

Today, we are reminded that we are compelled to be the “voice of those who suffer” and to be their champion for services and treatment.

Today, we weep for loss of life.

Today, we are reminded that even in death, other can be saved. Through the organ donation program, the lives of five children were saved.

Today, we weep because of what is presently before us.

Today, we are reminded that with the grace of God we can change tomorrow!